


Are you real?

by iamawriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #dean is in love, #its the end of the world, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 20:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21380350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamawriter/pseuds/iamawriter
Summary: Sam and Dean find themselves in a situation where they need Cas. Dean's not sure he can handle what he needs to do.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 21





	Are you real?

"I think we know that theres only one way we're making out of this alive." Sam said.

Dean tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

Sam held out his hand as if Dean were an animal that could bolt at any second.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not gonna get mad Sammy."

"Call him."

Dean tensed up. "Who?"

Sam raised his eyebrows at dean. It's a thing brothers do, they can sometimes read each other's mind.

Dean knew exactly who Sam was talking about.

Everyone was staring at him. All these hunters. Sammy. Everyone who was still left on their side. Everyone who hadn't died.

"I ...he wouldn't even come if I called."

"Dean...." Sam said, slow and patient. "Cas will always come when you call."

Dean's cheeks turned red. "Sammy I...I haven't talked to him in...since..."

"Dean *please*. This isn't about you. Or you guys. Or whatever you were or weren't or what happened or what you said. This is about the fate of the world. The fate of us. We're all counting on you."

"Why-why can't you call him!"

"You know it has to be you."

Dean stiffened up. He looked around at everyone's grim faces. 

He sighed in defeat. "I...I'm gonna need a moment alone then."

Sam nodded at everyone, and they all left the room.

Sam gave dean's shoulder a supportive squeeze, then headed out too. He shut the door.

Dean got down on the ground in prayer at the foot of the steps to the stage. He gazed up at the cross and closed his eyes.

*"Cas? I...I don't, I don't even know if you can still hear me. Or if your still alive, but um, if you could help us out, for old times sake, that would be great."

Dean opened his eyes. 

Nothing. 

The angel figurines next to the steps mocked him.

He pushed it over and banged his fist on the step.

"DAMN IT CAS! Quit screwing around! I know your not dead, you waste of space! Your like a cockroach! Chuck himself will be dead before you! So just quit being a whiny bitch and show yourself!"

Nothing.

Dean stood up and kicked over a chair.

"Fuck you cas!" He said, as if to the sky, or the top of the church. "This... isn't about us! If...if your mad at me...don't take it out on them! They need you! Sam needs you!"

Nothing.

"I...I need you."

Nothing.

Dean laughed bitterly and sat down on one of the chairs. "Of course, you knew that."

Nothing.

Dean scoffed. "I deserve this. I know I do. I deserve far worse from you. You should come back here, beat the crap out of me, fucking kill me for all I care, and help the others."

Nothing.

Dean sighed. He licked his lips and looked down at his hands, they were shaking.

"Okay fine. You want me to get real? Is that what it will take? You want me to degrade myself? Fine."

Dean stood up and walked towards the stage of the church, addressing the angel in the stain glass window.

"I...I drove you away. I know that. I drive away every single good thing in my life. Everything I need, I push and push untill it breaks."

Dean was starting to get choked up now.

"You bastard! You were never supposed to actually listen to me! You were never supposed to leave!"

Nothing. The stain glass angel smiled at him, mocking.

Dean picked up the angel figurine and threw it at the window. Thankfully it didn't break.

Dean sunk to his knees.  
"Fuck you! I wasn't all bad. I gave you everything. I forgave you for everything! You caused my brother to relive his hell trauma! You unleased Leviathan onto the world! You lied to me! You let Charlie die! You lied to me! You lied to me over and over again! I'd have died for you, you peice of shit! I can't believe my luck I had to go and fall in love with the biggest fuck-up in the damn multiverse!"

Dean winced as if he had been punched. In a way, he had, by his own words. He'd been punched by the truth of it all. The ugly truth.

Dean laughed, cold and bitter through his tears. "Well, now you know! You happy?! Fuck you."

Nothing.

Dean put his face in his hands and let the tears flow.

*"Please. "*

Nothing.

*" Please come back to me."*

Nothing. 

Dean sighed. He stood up, and brushed himself off, sniffling.

He heard a familiar whoosh, and turned around hopefull. He sighed forlornly when he realized it wasn't cas, but god's freaking sister.

Dean and her stared at each other for a few moments. He turned around.

"The hell do you want?" He grumbled.

"Nothing really. I just, I can't listen to this anymore. It's so cliche."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just do me a favor and kill me."

Amara sighed. "My brothers favorites are so...dramatic and gay. Like him..."

Dean turned around to her. "Look, I'm really not in the mood-"

Amara held up a finger to silence him.

Dean may be a self proclaimed idiot, but even he knows to shut up in front of a god, so he did 

"Look, your angel can't here you. He's human now."

"What?! Why-"

"That's a story for another time. Would you like me to take you to him?"

Dean stared at her apprehensively. "What's the catch?"

Amara smiled. "No catch. I just can't stand the will they won't they drama anymore. I told my brother I wouldn't intervene but I didn't anticipate his writing had gotten so bad he had to keep his protagonists apart just so they wouldn't makeout. It's horrible to watch. Its like a bad soap opera." She held out her hand. "Come with me."

"I have no idea what your saying, but okay. I mean, I've got nothing to lose." He took her hand, and everything went black.

When he woke up, he was at a camp of some sort.

"Dean?"

He whipped his head arm. The red haired bubbly lesbian in front of him wasn't Cas, but that didn't mean he wasn't happy as hell to see her.

"Charlie!" He ran up to her and hugged her. "How-"

"No time for explanations." She held his face. "Is it really you? I gotta run the tests to make sure-"

"Look, I would, but I don't have a lot of time. I'm looking for cas. Amara brought me here, saying he'd be here."

Charlie looked him in the eyes for several seconds, suspicious.

"Also, do you have food? I know the world is ending but I haven't eaten in like three hours-"

Charlie grinned. "It is you!"She grabbed his hand. "This way!"

Charlie led him through a strange and confusing camp. They looked like hunters, like him. He saw familiar and unfamiliar faces alike.

Charlie stopped and pointed at a tent. "That's him."

Dean smiled. He walked up to it, then froze up right before entering. "I...what if he doesn't...what if-"

Charlie rolled her eyes and gave him a push.

He fell into the tent.

"Who's there?"

That voice.

It was him.

Dean, momentarily disoriented, looked around, he saw writing and enochian on the walls, and a bunch of books and weapons. And a diagram about bees.

Oh yeah, this place definitely belonged to cas.

Dean saw a desk at the other end of the room, with someone facing the opposite direction of him in a chair so he couldn't see their face.

Dean knew who they were though.

"Hey buddy." 

Cas immediately got up from his desk and stood up. When dean saw his face it was like a punch in the gut. He had peach fuzz now. He looked different too. 

Maybe he wasn't even his original cas. Maybe his cas was dead, and Amara just sent him here , to this strange world, because she felt sorry for him. 

It wouldn't be the first time she took pity on him.

Cas tilted his head. "Dean? What...your alive? I don't understand, I thought you were dead."

Dean blinked back tears. He ran at cas and grabbed him into a fierce hug. "I thought you were dead too. Let's not think about it too much."

"I'm...I'm just so confused."

Dean pulled back and looked cas in the eye. "There's a million things I want to say to you. There's a million things I want to ask. Um, I actually prayed to you earlier."

Cas laughed. "That's not... I've been human for-"

Dean cut him off with a kiss. It was firm, as if to shut him up. Cas sighed into it. When dean pulled back his eyes had tears.

"I missed you."

Cas smiled. "I missed you too."

Dean pulled cas into another kiss, more self assured.

They pulled apart to breath.

"I love you." Dean said.

"I love you too."

Dean smiled, disbelieving. "Are you real? Is this real?"

Cas smiled. "I'm whatever you want me to be."

"Just don't leave."

"I will never leave you again."

Dean kissed him again, and even though he didn't really know what was happening, everything was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, all feedback welcome :)


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